Travel Plans for Life

I met her around nine years ago. She has been an inspiration to me all along. I never miss an opportunity to talk or write about her. When I don’t share her story with others, I feel I am denying people something precious to behold in their lives.

She was only nine-year’s old when the Creator decided to launch her on a journey of fame, success and glory. All three would come much later in life, but the voyage was to begin at the appointed time and hour. And so, it did. This is story of my friend Dr.Prema Dhanraj.

Prema was a beautiful child. She was an all rounder in school. For a nine-year old she was unusually independent. That evening, she came back home from school, early. She was humming. It was a song that she was going to sing at the competition the next day. The lyrics in her head danced to the music in her mouth. Her mother was at the neighbor’s and the housekeeper wasn’t around. SO Prema deicded to boil herself a glass of milk. She lit the old fashioned pumping gas stove on the floor.

Prema was still humming the song when the stove burst. It was the beginning of her pilgrimage in life. Flames licked her face. She closed her eyes into painful slits and cried out. Her ears, which were fast melting into a mass of flesh, were deaf to her screams. The raging flames eating her face –forehead, nose, eyes, cheeks, mouth -drowned her cries.

Fast forward. In the next five years Prema underwent 14 painful surgeries. The doctors at CMC, Vellore meticulously reconstructed her face, but it was never the same again. It turned into a face that made people on the road stop and stare. “People would gape in shock or quickly look away, embarrassed by may distorted face,” she would tell me later. Now, she is oblivious to such reactions.

Today, decades later, Prema is the head of the department of Reconstructive and Plastic surgery, CMC, Vellore –the same hospital where she battled for life eons ago. She is a world renowned surgeon whose expertise and knowledge in the field is sought after by leading hospitals in Europe and Africa. She travels across the globe helping people set up burn units. She is considered a surgeon par excellence. She performs numerous surgeries every day. She springs hope, where there is none. From dawn to dusk she makes sure that she uses every opportunity that comes her way, makes her talents count in life. Now, she is spending her time, energy and money in setting up Agniraksha –an organization that will help under privileged burn victims. “God has blessed me abundantly, I just want to give something back to the world,” she says.

I look at her and I am in awe of her. While I was thinking of all the things she lost in life because of her accident she was counting her blessings in life! I look at her again. The face reminds you of a beauty lost, but also reflects a beauty beyond words. The face still makes people do a double take, but it also spells hope for hundreds of them. My friend’s face is scarred; yet serene. Most importantly, hers is a happy face.

How did she come this far and climb this high in life with no rancor or rage? How did she negotiate the treacherous curves in life? “My looks never came in the way of my education or achieving what I wanted to,” she had told me. But that’s not the truth. What’s true is that Prema did not ALLOW her looks to come in the way of living her life the way she wanted to. Of course she did not reach that place of comfort overnight. It was a long and arduous journey. “My mother taught me to channelise my anger and bitterness into something positive,” she says. She told me, “You have got to live with this face for the rest of your life. It is up to you to decide to whether you want to live happily or not.”

Bad things do happen to good people. We have no control over certain events that might occur in our lives –somebody is diagnosed with a terrible ailment or somebody loses a family or a limb or goes through a painful divorce –we cannot plan for these things in life. One day we are fine and the next, we are given the biggest blow in life. What happens? Life continues –we wake up in the morning, we eat, we breathe, we live; there are bills to be paid, families to be taken care of and work to be done. Life continues, as it did yesterday and the day before. Yet we are left standing with a cross to bear. What do we do? I would say do what my friend Prema did. She says, “There were times when I asked God, `Why me?” But now I am beginning to think that if I hadn’t had this accident, I wouldn’t have achieved so much in life. I wouldn’t have reached out to so many people. I have come to accept that His ways are mysterious and it is best not to fight Him. Today, I have reached a stage where I think my accident has been a blessing disguise –to me and many people out there.”

One never knows when we will be catapulted on our special journey in life. The question is, do we make the journey fighting with ourselves and the Creator, every inch of the way, filled with bitterness, anger, fear and frustration, or do we play along and make the journey as peaceful, happy and useful as possible? The choice is ours. And the journey is a must!